Dependency and why it sucks

I'm irritated. It's only Tuesday and I'm ready for this week to be over and done, but wait...I get to work this weekend. I hate bitching about stuff like this, especially in public, but sometimes it has to be done. I was going to post something pointing to the nicer shtuff life is made of, but with my frame of mind right now, there is a big dark, forbidding cloud where at one time this morning there were kittens and puppies and sunshine and daisies. In the blink of an eye, those diasappeared. ***another ipad post, so there are no paragraph breaks*** See, I have this problem. I do not like depending on people, and try very hard to not have to unless it is absolutely necessary. I hated group projects at school with a passion. You want to see me lose it fast, observe me as a part of a group and the levels of stress I put on myself wondering if the stuff others are working on for the group is getting done. I much prefer to be the one that can be depended upon to get something done. I'm not saying that I always get it done immediately, but I think I have a decent track record and about a 95% rate of dependability give or take a point. I prefer to do things myself. If I have to tell someone how to do something I need, I'd rather take the time that I'm using to explain the task and just use it to work on the issue myself. At the same time that irritation levels rise, I do not like stepping on toes or hurting another's feelings. Chances are that I'm not going to call anyone a mouth-breathing blowhard, namely because I wouldn't want someone thinking of me in that light. So, I internalize these thoughts and feelings to the point that I shake and get visibly upset. It isn't healthy, I realize that, but what can I do? Don't answer that. I know that not everyone is an idiot. I've worked with some fine people, both in the present and the past. Yet, it only takes one. One idiotic, mouth breathing blowhard can disrupt the harmony that should be people working as a team to accomplish something. And chances are when the rest of the group pulls through to accomplish the goal without the help of the moron, the moron will receive more than his/her fair share of the credit and the rest of us will have to smile. Now, I'll finish up this post with something positive. I know that when I get off this afternoon, Bailey will be glad to see me. That will make me smile, on the inside at the very least.